My wife and I toured the Focus on the Family Headquarters in Colorado Springs. We were impressed and believed that organizations like this were needed.

However, Pat Robertson said something at his 700 club/clique on Television, that angered and alarmed me and got me to rethink the narrow focus on the family. He said that couples need to have children because if one of the spouse dies then the other spouse will be all alone.

He said this in a very smug way, showing his lack of understanding of God's presence and the role others should play in our lives.

He told those that couldn't have children or chose not to have children that if their spouse passed away that they would be alone forevermore.

He is not a part of the Focus on the Family organization as far as I know. Still, what he said, reflects the typical view of conservative Christians, which includes Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the family.

What about Church and What about Community:

"Tom Sine Writes, 'You won't find anything in the Bible that supports the idolatrous preoccupation with protecting the individual biological family that characterizes many conservative Christian groups today. Read the New Testament again. There is very little mention of family. There is certainly nothing in the Bible about protecting the family as it is." (How Right is the Right, pg 134, Frame and Tharpe)

The focus on the biological family including the overemphasis on having children is a narrow focus that takes our eyes off the bigger picture. Going to church on Sunday, only focusing on one's own family, ministry or club while neglecting the rest of the community is nothing short of selfish.

Only one that was too family oriented would think that a person would be all alone if their spouse died. I would be devastated if my wife passed away, I might not ever completely recover. However, I would not be alone. I would have Christ and my involvement in Church and Community.

"Most contemporary churches, however, have abandoned the parish concept, have lost sight of the vital role they play in communities. People leave their communities to attend church across town or in another town. Personal preference for a particular church takes precedence over community commitment." (Ibid, pg 134)

It is this kind of group/family thinking that makes it difficult to get other Christians to fellowship outside the Church Walls.

So if anything would result in Christians being all alone, it would be this ridiculous and selfish notion that our biological family is all there is.

I have seen many couples that focus on their children to the neglect of each other and others.  

Some people have had children just to keep their marriages together.

Children are not to be the main focus in a family.

If spouses neglect or inadvertently abuse each other, even in the interest of taking care of their children, the children will learn more from this negative than any focus on the child will ever accomplish.

Children learn respect for others by watching the respect couples show each other and others.

If spouses don't respect each other, it shows in the way the children act.

I've noticed many Stepford wives of Miles Apart Ministry leaders that looked like they were being dragged to church and were only tolerating certain others until they got back home to their families or back to their preferred people group.

"In summary, as moderates, we encourage a broad discussion of cultural values, one that includes, but is not dominated by, a narrow focus on the family. We encourage all people to recognize the price this country has paid by losing sight of the importance of community. After all, the Bible does not dictate exactly what constitutes a family. It does, however, make clear that we owe responsibilities toward our parents and children, husbands and wives, sisters and brothers, friends and neighbors, and even our enemies. (Ibid, pg 138)

There is a group think that pervades our Churches as well.

 "I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL  IN PHOENIX AND I TOLD MY DOCTOR I WAS SO ALONE,HE SAID HOW COULD YOU BE ALONE IF YOUR A CHRISTIAN,I WOULD THINK THAT GOD WOULD BE BY YOUR SIDE ALL THE TIME, I NEVER HAVE BEEN ALONE SINCE. "    My mamma

More on this later.

BJ Maxwell

Revised 03/04/2006